Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Unlearning - Discipleship

I've been having a clear out.  I hold on to so much stuff, like photos of people I knew at university and I now have no idea who they are, but also photos of people I don't want to remember.  I don't want to remember because they had and still have an unhealthy hold over me.  I want to forgive, but also to forget.  I don't want to wish them gone in reality of course, they are still people - but only God can bring me to that healthy place where I can wish someone who hurt me all the best and let them go. If something brings back a flood of unhealthy memories then it needs dealing with and so I've been doing that.

Whilst going through stuff I found an A4 piece of paper detailing 'The Work of a Disciple', it was something that my old church went through a year or so ago.  The idea was that everyone discipled someone else, in reality what happened was certain people were prepped to 'disciple' [read: control, undermine, find out, report back]. 

Gary was 'discipled', and they almost discipled Jesus out of him.

I am unlearning.

Here's what it said on the 'Word of a Disciple' document written by our Pastor - most of it sounds innocuous enough, my own comments are in brackets & italics:

1. To be an example to the discipled of a life spent with Jesus [i.e. tell the disciple all about how awesome your relationship with Jesus is and how spiritual you are, whilst simultaneously engaging in judgement and gossip with the Pastor about how sad you are that the discipled doesn't have a totally obedient yielded relationship with God like you do].
2. To live as close to the discipled one as possible - seeing as much of him/her as possible [keeping tabs on them].
3. Praying every day for the discipled and being involved with every need [preaching to the discipled through long prayers and sticking your oar in where it isn't required].
4. Sacrificing for the discipled by putting their needs before the discipler [I never saw this happen...when I had a miscarriage no-one visited or called me - except a very brief visit from the Pastor (which we requested) he wouldn't even stay for a coffee, just did his 'duty' and scarpered; when I had post-natal depression I again requested a visit this time from the Assistant Pastor - he never came again. I was so lonely.  I wasn't to have 'worldly' friendships. I wasn't to socialise].
5. To seek only God's answers to their needs and to protect the discipled from all earthly answers [Urgh, trigger, trigger. Overly spiritual gnostic gnonsence].
6. To share with the discipled all the teachings that are coming from The Lord [i.e. the Pastor's preaching/teaching].
7. To spend time in prayer with the discipled to seek together God's will for their lives - Building up the Church ["We will tell you what God's will is and it is surprisingly totally the same as the Pastor's will for you, what a coincidence! If you disagree you are not 'one' with the 'Body of Christ' and therefore the kingdom will not come and the sick will not be healed"].

Urgh, what a load of rubbish.  No wonder if anyone mentions 'discipleship' these days I come out in hives.

Originally written 12/3/13 published here 28/3/14

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