Thursday, 16 June 2011

Paradigm shift

Carrying on from my rather garbled post yesterday (I was tired)(Oh Sisyphus, I Understand), I think I have pinpointed the source of my discontent...

Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this [paradigm shift]...ahem. :)

As I observed to Melissa in my comment:

Melissa, part of the problem is that my life has changed in the past year in that I am still trying to do all the stuff I did before I started working (and I am absolutely shattered when I get back from work because it's such a physically demanding job). House has become a pressure, I'm constantly watching the clock, I'm constantly bothered that I've not done all my cleaning, I'm constantly bothered that I'm not having enough time with the girls; all the joy of home that I used to have has gone. Something's gotta give!

I felt like it was an endless, thankless task. You clean, then it looks messy again (ah such is the nature of housework).

I know that I need to refocus and change the paradigm of home in my own mind. It isn't about cleanliness (though that is to some extent important), it isn't about perfect interior decoration, it's about something deeper.

So a light came on. I need a paradigm shift. Too often when life gets busy we put our heads down and push (like ol' Sisyphus) and push, the difficulty and the work is all you can see and feel. Housework is such a small part of being a mother/wife yet it had become that boulder I am sick of pushing. Silly really. Stand outside and it is such a small thing.

I feel better now I've decided that.

Carry on chaps...